Yesterday, I found myself speaking to a room of 50 NPower students, expecting to cover the usual career advice and professional development topics. What I didn’t anticipate was how a moment of vulnerability would create such profound impact.
When the standard Q&A session took an unexpected turn, a couple of brave students ventured beyond surface-level questions. They asked me deeply personal questions about worthiness, fear, and mental darkness – right there in an open forum. These weren’t just professional inquiries; they were human cries for connection and understanding.
The Risk of Going Deeper
I’ll admit, I hesitated. Speaking about personal struggles, especially topics like depression, in a professional setting with young adults requires careful navigation. These students, mostly in their early twenties, were looking for more than career advice – they were seeking someone who understood their inner battles.
Despite my reservations, I chose to share parts of my own journey through darkness. I opened up about my personal struggles and offered practical tips on daily thriving that had helped me along the way. What happened next reinforced something I’ve always believed but sometimes forget to practice: our greatest impact often comes from our greatest vulnerability.
Later that day, my inbox filled with direct messages. One particularly moving message explained how my openness marked the first time they had heard someone speak so candidly about personal darkness and the ongoing journey toward healing. For this student, my willingness to be vulnerable created a moment of profound connection and hope.
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The Missed Opportunities of Playing It Safe
This experience reminded me of how many chances to make meaningful impact we might miss when we choose to play it safe. As established professionals, business owners, or mentors, we often stick to sharing our successes and expertise while keeping our struggles private.
But what if our greatest gift to others isn’t our polished expertise but our honest humanity?
Consider what happens when we take these calculated risks:
- We normalize the human experience of struggle
- We create safe spaces for others to acknowledge their challenges
- We demonstrate that success and struggle can coexist
- We offer real hope through authentic stories of resilience
The truth is that many young professionals are hungry for this kind of authenticity. They’re surrounded by highlight reels and success stories, but starving for honest conversations about the full human experience.
A Call for Authentic Leadership
Those of us who have “gone on ahead” – whether we’re 40, 50, or beyond – carry a special responsibility. We’ve weathered storms, faced failures, and navigated dark nights of the soul. These experiences aren’t just personal war stories; they’re powerful teaching tools.
When we share them appropriately, we create bridges of understanding that can literally change lives. We never know when our willingness to be a little uncomfortable might be exactly what someone else needs to feel less alone in their struggle.
This doesn’t mean oversharing or turning professional settings into therapy sessions. It means being discerning yet courageous about revealing our humanity when the moment calls for it.
What you have to say is new to someone out there who needs to hear it.
My challenge to fellow professionals, especially those in mentoring or leadership positions: Don’t be afraid to go a bit deeper. Your journey – including its darkest chapters – might be exactly the light someone else needs to find their way forward.
The most powerful gift we can offer others isn’t always our expertise or advice. Sometimes, it’s simply the courage to say, “I’ve been there too, and here’s how I found my way through.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: How do you know when it’s appropriate to share personal struggles in a professional setting?
Trust your instincts about the environment and the needs of your audience. Look for moments when someone has expressed a genuine struggle that resonates with your experience. Start with small disclosures and gauge the response. The key is ensuring your sharing serves others rather than becoming about your own need for expression.
Q: Won’t sharing personal struggles make me appear weak as a leader or mentor?
Quite the opposite. Research shows that authentic leadership that includes appropriate vulnerability actually builds trust and connection. The key is balancing vulnerability with competence – showing both your humanity and your capacity to overcome challenges. This combination creates more relatable and trustworthy leadership.
Q: How can I share about mental health struggles without overstepping boundaries?
Focus on sharing your personal journey and coping strategies rather than giving clinical advice. Use “I” statements about your experience rather than generalizing. Be mindful of your audience’s age and context. And always emphasize hope and pathways to support rather than dwelling exclusively on the struggle itself.
Q: What if sharing my personal struggles backfires or makes someone uncomfortable?
This is always a possibility, which is why discernment matters. If you sense discomfort, you can acknowledge it directly: “I realize this is a deeper conversation than we might normally have.” Then offer people permission to engage at their comfort level. Remember that even if your sharing doesn’t resonate with everyone, it might profoundly impact the one person who needed to hear exactly what you shared.
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